Race

Last night was an interesting night; it being a Friday, it involved copious amounts of alcohol, although I am proud to say that I did not consume much. It was also the first time in a very, very long time that my brother and I were drinking together in the same vicinity. I met some new people last night, and re-met people that I had seen before (alcohol is the boon of first meetings).

Before we had gone to the party a few doors down, I relaxed and started to drink in my friend Ronnie's apartment. The entire place was jam picked with Indians, albeit with the exception of one Lebanese person, and one Mexican; I reflected, bemusedly, that I was in company that I thought I would never really feel wholly comfortable with when I came to UOP in 2007.

I had always thought it so cliche and stereotypical to only associate with one's own race; yet, a few years later, I find that my views have changed drastically. I had hung with a pretty diverse group of guys since freshman year (at least in regards to race, if not personality), but after some of us had gone our own separate ways, I find that I'm gravitating towards people just like me (not just in skin color, but just in tastes, traits, etc.). Its fascinating, too, considering that one of my other friends from the old gang also seems to undergone a shift that parallels much of what I've gone through, in that he's strengthening his friendships with people of the same nationality and faith as him.

Of course, just because I'm embracing my inner Indian side (and there's a touch of irony to that, considering how "whitewashed" orthodox Indians would find me to be), doesn't mean that I completely disregard my past friendships or tastes. My best friend at Pacific is still an Asian person, I still have Yellow Fever (albeit, its probably more latent now), etc.; still, its interesting how the human social animal can adapt to his environment.

Groups

Over the past few days, I've been noticing something. Not a particular trend, or pattern, or anything of the sort, but just the behavior people exhibit when in groups. Not really having much of a group that I really identify with anymore, I find it fascinating (although, you would probably just think its creepy) watching the interactions between myself and other people. People whom I can normally engage in one on one conversations with suddenly become cold and indifferent towards me when in the company of other people. I wonder; can other people's opinions about one person really shape the attitude of another person's feelings about that person?

Its an interesting phenomena. Its almost unconscious, in that the person I wanted to talk to is stuck between a rock and a hard place; its like he senses the undercurrent, or tension, and cuts it by ignoring the outsider. I find it both hilarious, and saddening, at the same time; hilarious, for we are all fools who don't address the problem at hand; saddening, with the knowledge that things can never truly be the same. If there's one thing I've learned about watching these dealings, its that people will always have a hierarchy to their friendships; and while I suspect that I'm at the top of very few, if any, of these pyramids, I still find it disheartening to know that so many memories and moments can be swept away, like tears in the rain.

But I guess that's change, then, isn't it? For good or for ill, something happens, somebody else remembers it, and we all end up moving on.

I just wish change wasn't so damn lonely.