Alone

This week has been a rather interesting one. Failing to get a bid from Kappa Psi, a pharmacy fraternity with whom I had a desire to pledge to only because of a promise to Skott, I realize that I prefer being alone. Moreover, I also learned the real reason of me being denied a bid was because of all the crap I've talked about KY over the past years, and up to the time I was at their rush dinner. I can't say that I'm surprised; I'm more amused, actually. But, there have been some positive side-effects from this rejection; already, I feel more focused and energized by this rejection by KY than I have this entire semester, where I felt like a burned-out husk at the semester's onset; now, now more than ever, I feel ready to tackle my schoolwork and finish strong.

I find that my life is, unfortunately, starting to mimic my brother's, as time slowly passes on. Is that what history is, a series of cycles? I realize, now, that my reasons for wanting to join KY, while mostly unselfish, were not very intelligent at all. I didn't join them for their brotherhood, but rather, as an additional way to build upon the friendships I already had with people.

Yet, I am rather glad that I've earned the enmity of a whole organization. I feel free, now; in case Skott decides to rush for them again in the near future, I know that I won't, or can't, even have a chance to join them. Its funny, really, how a lot of the bad events in my life are more like blessings in disguise; but alas, I guess the optimist in me wants to see something good about pissing off the group that "runs pharm school", as some people have so eloquently pointed out to me. Most of the people I've respected in pharm school don't belong to any fraternity, so I don't feel bad knowing that I'd be in that type of company.

I also have to admit that I've always been somewhat of a loner, too. I think I can make friends and talk to people; I may seem somewhat arrogant here, but I hardly consider myself to be a social outcast, regardless of how many bridges I may be burning and building with people at UOP. Yet, more and more, I'm starting to see the power that can be found in solitude.