I fucking hate New Year's resolutions.
With that said, I do have a few resolutions I'd like to make myself. Maybe I'm cheating myself by doing it a few weeks before New Year's, but I do have some important goals that I want to outline for this next year. I was actually thinking about putting in some 5 year goals, but that seemed more Stalin than Jag to me...so, with that being said, here's some things I want to do starting today:
1) Watch at least 1 new movie per week
2) Read at least 1 book (new or old) per month
3) Try and learn a second language, and NOT half-assedly
4) Blog at least once a week
Gonna try and make my life more exciting this next decade than it was the last decade. With that being said...
I'm gonna have to fuck everything that I've said in the last year and a half on this blog. No more bad memories, no more whining, no more genuflecting on the past. No time like the present to live for the future.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
An Oath
Today is my father's birthday. He's turning 62. And so today, I swear to him, to make up for all the lies and transgressions and every broken promise to him, for his utter faith in me even in the face of my faithlessness...I swear to never again touch the demon drink. For him.
Happy birthday dad.
Happy birthday dad.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Last Hurrah
Finals are coming up, and with them, a rather looming sense of finality. So many things coming to a head; it feels rather like putting the last words in this chapter of my life. I'll probably write more about this later, as I have my Physio final to study for right now (whilst watching The Dark Knight), but I'll know is that there is so much ready to come.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Failure
“Don't be afraid to fail. Don't waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It's OK to fail. If you're not failing, you're not growing.”
Failure is an interesting notion. I am currently experiencing failure right now, in multiple aspects of my life. Be it to my weight loss, my vow to give up alcohol until graduation, or my attempts to get off Swagger Island (more on this later), I have been failing spectacularly in all these different parts of my life, and more.
I'm trying to find out why.
My weight loss has come to a grinding halt. I can probably attribute this to my uneven diet, which also ties into my recent use of alcohol. Yesterday, I drank enough to become a very rude, very obnoxious drunk; I was, of course, promptly kicked out of the club that I was attending last night, and I was also treated to a fantastic hangover this morning as well. Finally, Swagger Island is a nickname for any and all interactions I have with the opposite sex; I think I've been awarded far too many negative points in the past week than is humanely possible, but I find that time and again, I find ways to outdo myself.
Yes, I have failed. Yes, I will continue to fail. The question is, then, do I learn from it, or do I continue to do nothing about it?
Failure is an interesting notion. I am currently experiencing failure right now, in multiple aspects of my life. Be it to my weight loss, my vow to give up alcohol until graduation, or my attempts to get off Swagger Island (more on this later), I have been failing spectacularly in all these different parts of my life, and more.
I'm trying to find out why.
My weight loss has come to a grinding halt. I can probably attribute this to my uneven diet, which also ties into my recent use of alcohol. Yesterday, I drank enough to become a very rude, very obnoxious drunk; I was, of course, promptly kicked out of the club that I was attending last night, and I was also treated to a fantastic hangover this morning as well. Finally, Swagger Island is a nickname for any and all interactions I have with the opposite sex; I think I've been awarded far too many negative points in the past week than is humanely possible, but I find that time and again, I find ways to outdo myself.
Yes, I have failed. Yes, I will continue to fail. The question is, then, do I learn from it, or do I continue to do nothing about it?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Sleep
"Fatigue is the best pillow."
Benjamin Franklin
This week has certainly been an odd when, especially when it comes to sleep. It seems that I'm being plagued by insomnia, although I feel so very, very tired. Sleep is starting to become a scarcity for me now; my naps that would come to me easily are disrupted by my bladder, by nightmares, or by the unevenness of my internal clock. I used to relish lying down and hitting the bed, feeling the day's events wash over me and carry me into sleep; now, I lay in bed, staring at a ceiling painted in the harsh blue glare of my alarm clock.
Speaking of which, my alarm clock failed me on Friday, although my bladder certainly didn't. Setting the clock to 6 AM, I figured that I'd have over an hour to review and to prepare for my third Biochem test. What I didn't factor in was me not listening to my alarm clock, or not having set it all; thus, I ended up waking up at the start of the exam, rather than an hour before it.
Now, I certainly did panic when I awoke at 7:30 and realized I was still in bed. But, before I ran in my flip flops all the way down to the Bio building, I thought. I relaxed. I took a piss, shotgunned a container of cottage cheese and a bottle of water, and prepared myself for the test, physically if not mentally. It was comforting, actually, not feeling an intensive wave of dread at the thought of the test's difficulty (which was hard, no doubt about that), but rather, at the idea that I was late.
Its nice to know that I can still keep my cool in a situation like that. Maybe it was that extra bit of sleep that did the trick.
Benjamin Franklin
This week has certainly been an odd when, especially when it comes to sleep. It seems that I'm being plagued by insomnia, although I feel so very, very tired. Sleep is starting to become a scarcity for me now; my naps that would come to me easily are disrupted by my bladder, by nightmares, or by the unevenness of my internal clock. I used to relish lying down and hitting the bed, feeling the day's events wash over me and carry me into sleep; now, I lay in bed, staring at a ceiling painted in the harsh blue glare of my alarm clock.
Speaking of which, my alarm clock failed me on Friday, although my bladder certainly didn't. Setting the clock to 6 AM, I figured that I'd have over an hour to review and to prepare for my third Biochem test. What I didn't factor in was me not listening to my alarm clock, or not having set it all; thus, I ended up waking up at the start of the exam, rather than an hour before it.
Now, I certainly did panic when I awoke at 7:30 and realized I was still in bed. But, before I ran in my flip flops all the way down to the Bio building, I thought. I relaxed. I took a piss, shotgunned a container of cottage cheese and a bottle of water, and prepared myself for the test, physically if not mentally. It was comforting, actually, not feeling an intensive wave of dread at the thought of the test's difficulty (which was hard, no doubt about that), but rather, at the idea that I was late.
Its nice to know that I can still keep my cool in a situation like that. Maybe it was that extra bit of sleep that did the trick.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Forge
"You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one."
James Anthony Froude
Recently, I've come to the conclusion that there's a lot of things I'd like to do, but I simply cannot do them. Some, for example, are infinitely out of my reach at the moment (i.e. backpacking across Europe), due to the twin issues of time and money. Others are rather easily to undertake, but given my laziness, have essentially gone unattended (i.e. learning how to cook).
So, I endeavor now to spend every day learning something new, and learning to talk to new people. I've realized that I've withdrawn into my own comfort zone, and it would be pretty damn egotistical of me to assume that I'm the only one facing this problem. Comfort zones are tricky areas to navigate, but then, life's too short to be wondering about how something actually is, instead of actually experiencing it.
I'll try and keep a record of this by updating my blog with more than just musings, feelings, and rantings. And I'll try doing it more than twice a month, too.
James Anthony Froude
Recently, I've come to the conclusion that there's a lot of things I'd like to do, but I simply cannot do them. Some, for example, are infinitely out of my reach at the moment (i.e. backpacking across Europe), due to the twin issues of time and money. Others are rather easily to undertake, but given my laziness, have essentially gone unattended (i.e. learning how to cook).
So, I endeavor now to spend every day learning something new, and learning to talk to new people. I've realized that I've withdrawn into my own comfort zone, and it would be pretty damn egotistical of me to assume that I'm the only one facing this problem. Comfort zones are tricky areas to navigate, but then, life's too short to be wondering about how something actually is, instead of actually experiencing it.
I'll try and keep a record of this by updating my blog with more than just musings, feelings, and rantings. And I'll try doing it more than twice a month, too.
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