Break

This year, Thanksgiving Break was short, although I suppose that was more my doing than anybody else's. A blur of a quick four days, it was filled with long nights out with friends, reminensces, and a dab of midnight epiphanies. Much of my time was split hanging out at night with some of my good friends. A memorable night in particular was Friday night; yesterday, I went to the Arden Fair Mall with Mike and Manpreet, two guys I've known since the early days of elementary school. Our drive to the mall was mostly filled with girl talk, although they dominated the discussion with their individual girl problems; me being the odd man out, all their problems were, to my unhindered heart and eye, easy to solve. Its funny, how detached I seemed from their problems, how little I truly I understood the pain they claimed they were going through; but, I admitted to them as much that I was ignorant about their relationship problems as they were of other aspects in life. I suppose its something I'll need to experience in order to understand.

When we arrived at the mall, we naturally went shopping; it was Black Friday, after all. After getting a sweater, we decided to stop by Macy's, while there, we were approached and stopped by a female customer representative in the cologne section. I immediately noticed the way she flirted with Manpreet, and I told the guys that I was gonna go somewhere else; Mike, of course, followed me. We watched from behind a clothing rack as Manpreet managed to get the number of the girl (although why I write girl when she was certainly older than us, I don't know); after he got the number, and cologne, I asked him why he did it. For the uninformed, Manpreet had an arranged marriage that has not been a month old yet; he looked me straight in the eye, and said "Jag, the game may have changed, but the player never does."

If I was to post something else concrete about break, I suppose I could break it down as follows: one Iron Gym pull-up bar bought, Batman: Arkham Asylum beaten for the PS3, 2-3 beers of Sierra Nevada drank, 4-6 shots of Patron, 1 Swisher smoked, and probably a scatter of other small details that escape my mind at the present. Suffice to say, this was certainly the fastest break I've ever experienced. Now, to just power through these next three weeks.

Oh yeah, and of course, lest I forget to mention it, I shaved the beard, too.

Tired

Its been a while since I've last wrote; more than two weeks, in fact. Well, oddly enough, not much has really happened within this time period. My mind, and body as well, are starting to wear down. I honestly don't know what is happening to me; I'm getting much more tired than I normally do; 8 hours of sleep makes me more tired than when I ran on 5.

In retrospect, it seemed as if I was more efficient last semester. Then, my back was against the wall; my schedule was tough, my semester off to a bad start with my trip to the drunk tank. Now, I've became terribly complacent; calculating my GPA shows me that I can slack off in my classes and still get into grad school. What became something that I could rely on to get me past bad tests has instead transformed itself into a roadblock that cripples my very desire to succeed.

I think, though, if I were to describe what I'm missing, is anger. Anger at myself, mostly, but a fury that ran like fire through my veins, and as I've been learning recently, a fury that kept me going throughout last semester. Now, I feel terribly burned out; I am reminded of a quote from one of my favorite films, Blade Runner. "The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long".

Thanksgiving Break can't come soon enough.